one time i said the word “fuck” on facebook and my mom texted me this
My thighs are huge cuz they’re full of secrets
Wrap them around my ears and let me hear them all
Smooth as fuck
a guy walked into the board room and said
"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"
and i just stared at him and coldly said
"i am the regional reports manager"
we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life
*drops food on floor*
germs: go get it! quick!
king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule
my favorite thing about this post is that germs have apparently gained enough sentience to develop a form of monarchy
in elementary school i hit this kid cause he said i cant punch and i broke his nose and then my stepdad picked me up and the office was like “you have to say sorry” but then the kid was like “but she proved me wrong, she doesn’t have to say sorry” ladies and gentlemen my best friend of many many years
this is violently beautiful
no it’s not
POE TAY TOES, boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew!!??!
i dont get how you cant believe in evolution, there is literal evidence behind it
the evidence is literally right here
I don’t understand american school years what the fuck is a freshman or a sophomore why do you have these words instead of the numbers
what why would you use numbers
so IT FUCKING MAKES SENSE WHAT THE HELL IS A SOFT MOORE OR A FRESH MAN WHY ARE THE MEN FRESH
America makes no sense, as usual.
bless the person that actually made the chart
laughter from France
France what the fuck
The new harry potter movie looks great
Here’s some of the best senior quotes from my school’s yearbook for this year…
Here are some dogs enjoying Popsicles.
(Source: Flickr / dynamutt)
hey what’s up
It’s a movie about a old man turning his house into a hot air balloon
Women dressed as mermaids in Disneyland 1960
HOLLERS NO U DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!! Disney hired teenagers in the 60’s to literally be mermaids they held open auditions and the only requirements were that you had long hair and were a strong swimmer and they gave them mirrors and other props and they literally spent their days swimming and waving I heard a story once about sailors visiting the park and one of them jumped in with the mermaids THIS WAS JUST„ SO COOL I WANT TO BE A MERMAID! YELLs
I know someone whose Mom was one of the mermaids, it’s all very cool.